Okay, so we're all so much more educated than our parents. We know that eating for two is an old myth.So we continue to eat for one. One pound a week, thirty pounds total is the recommended weight gain for the average pregnancy.
Well somehow it hasn't quite worked out that way for me...
At first all was well, weight gain was barely noticeable. A pound here, a couple there.
Then came the second trimester and that telltale bump. That's when I showed up to a monthly appointment to find that suddenly I’d gained not 4 but 5 pounds in one month! "Four pounds a week," the doctor sternly reminded me. "Ok," I breathed. " I'll do it." But what I was really thinking was how did that happen? I didn't eat more than usual, yet there was that pesky extra pound begging the contrary.
So I waddled home and minded my diet, eating no more than before the pregnancy. I was never a self-starver and no day passed without a hit of chocolate. After thirty years as a chocoholic, I certainly considered myself an expert in how much was enough to stay within my BMI. Yet it was with horror that, the following month, I was met with a 6 pound weight gain. Now the doctor was really mad "Four pounds a week," she reiterated. "But I'm not eating more than normal," I pleaded. "Well perhaps you're doing less," she suggested. Well, I have a person strapped to my middle, my center of gravity is gone, standing feels like my pelvis is about to break, I need to pee every ten minutes and yes I waddle instead of walk. So perhaps I am doing less, but I never stepped foot in a gym before, so that argument is bunk too.
The final straw came the next month, when a further 7 pound weight gain had the doctor scolding me like a bad schoolgirl. This time, though, I had kept a close daily eye on my weight and noticed that, along with swollen ankles, the gain was inconsistent. No change for several days and then suddenly 3 pounds in one night. Never gained weight like this before, I thought. So I said to the doc, "seriously I'm not eating more, but my ankles are swollen, is it possible I'm gaining water weight?" Her reply, "your ankles are swelling because you're gaining too much weight and not the other way around."
This was becoming traumatic. Every visit to the OB had me walking out in tears of frustration. What was I to do? I was expected to have control over my body, yet my body was responding in a way with which I was unfamiliar. If things continued in this trend, I will have gained at least 50lbs by the end of this pregnancy.
I guess, only once the baby is out will I learn how much weight I truly gained. My doctor is certainly convinced that it's all my doing and that there is no explanation other than that I'm eating too much and moving too little. But I KNOW my body and I know that is not the case.
So girls, in the absence of an explanation, my advice is to be sensible, but do not beat yourselves up for what you cannot control. Just enjoy this special time.
As for my doctor, I have one thing to say: Thanks doc for for providing no comfort, for leaving me uninformed, for making me feel that it’s all my fault and for casting a shadow over what should be a joyous time in my life. I know I'm not supposed to eat for two, but nowhere does it say that I'm not even supposed to eat for one.
There HAS TO be another explanation. I WILL find it. Meantime I will do my best to not allow this mystery and your silence to mar any more of this precious time that is my first pregnancy.
My new doctor required me to fill in a questionnaire, so her secretary called to ask for my mailing address. With just three days to go before my visit, I suggested she email me the questionnaire.
To which she confidently replied, “we don't use email here.” Call me judgmental if you like, but after I fell off my chair, pinched myself to ensure I wasn't asleep in a nightmare and waited for the blood to drain from my eyes, I replied, “this is 2010, everyone uses email."
The next thing I knew, I was on hold for 5 minutes, and thank goodness for that, as I was pretty certain I'd also just had a stroke.
Eventually a different secretary came on the phone and confirmed that not only did she use email, but the questionnaire itself was online and here was the URL.
I asked why I hadn't been told this by her colleague, but received no response, and can only hope that the other woman was someone's temporary charity case and not a paid employee.
I respect a person’s freedom to avoid email at home, but a secretary in 2010 who is unable to switch on a computer is like a secretary in 1980 who couldn’t use a typewriter. Unheard of!
Is it just me, or is something seriously wrong with this picture??
The Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology that is mean to pregnant women
So you think that because you’re a pregnant woman going to a pregnancy department full of other pregnant women that the employees of that department will possess a minimum level of sensitivity and professionalism. Well you are wrong !
Generally the world is kind to you during those few months where your belly precedes you; people give up their seat on the bus, let you use their staff-only toilets, and step in to help if you’re carrying too much. The husband knows not to take it personally when you burst into tears because you ran out of milk and even your mother knows better than to come between you and that chocolate chip double fudge brownie.
Yes you are pregnant and the whole world smiles at you. Well, everyone that is, except for the hospital's Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. When you waddle up to their front desk you are greeted by a halfwit who thrusts a sign-in sheet at you, without so much as taking her eyes off her computer screen. Then you sit and wait. And you wait.
The place wasn’t even all that crowded when I arrived at 9am on a Monday morning. After sitting for nearly one hour, I asked the receptionist how much longer would it be? She said she didn’t know. I responded that I don’t mind how long I have to wait, but please just let me know for how long. Again, without so much as a glance in my direction, she said she couldn’t do that. I asked if perhaps she could find out, she said she couldn’t do that either.
So I informed her that I was leaving, she looked me up and down and said, "well that’s your choice". As I got up to leave, she turned to the whiteboard above her desk and wrote Dr W delayed one hour. I swung around, burst into uncontrollable sobbing, and asked why she couldn’t have told me that in the first place. She just stared back meanly, and I walked out.
As I stood sobbing in the hall, trying to understand this unwarranted spite, my husband, bless his heart, used his calm and un-hormonal charms to try to persuade the receptionist to give us an idea of what was going on. Fortunately it was at that moment that a nurse walked in and gave him an exact estimate of 15 minutes more to wait. When I returned to the waiting room the receptionist never once looked me in the eye and she certainly didn’t apologize.
Delays are unavoidable, but even the San Francisco Muni tells you how long you have to wait for the notoriously late N-train. Most people don’t mind waiting, so long as they are told for how long. Allowing someone to wait with no endpoint is cruel, and a Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology is certainly not the place to employ the sadistic and mean-spirited.
Why Facebook punishes you for making too many friends
A few weeks ago Facebook blocked me for several days for adding too many friends too quickly, saying that I was abusing the system. I didn’t understand how friend requesting people who were free to turn me down at the click of a mouse would be a crime, so I e-mailed Facebook and received the following response:
You received a warning because Facebook's security system detected that your friend requests were being ignored at a high rate and volume. Unwanted contact with strangers is not allowed on Facebook because it makes other people feel unsafe. Facebook is a place to interact with people you know in the real world.
Along with this warning, you may have received a block from sending friend requests. If you are unable to send friend requests, please note that these blocks can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. For security reasons, we are unable to provide additional information about this system.
Going forward, do not send friend requests or messages to people you don't know. Doing so may result in your account being permanently banned from Facebook.
We apologize for any inconvenience, and appreciate your cooperation going forward. Thanks for your understanding, User Operations Facebook I’m sorry but I call BS on all of that...
Firstly Facebook is a networking site, meaning that it is absolutely acceptable to make friends with strangers who share similar interests to you. According the Merriam Webster dictionary, the term ‘networking’ means ‘the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically: the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business’.
I am not trying to sell anything, but like most people I have my passions and interests, so I have joined groups that reflect those interests. I have a Facebook page and I have a blog, both of which deal with mental health issues. The many people who accept my friend requests have their own pages and blogs too, and guess what? We help one another by joining each other’s groups, liking each others pages, reading and commenting on each other posts and even clicking on each other’s links. No one gets hurt and networking is an activity that benefits all involved.
Secondly, those who do not wish to be friended by a stranger are free to ignore our requests, end the friendship and even block us if they so choose.
Thirdly, the part about being ignored at a high rate is simply a bare faced lie, because I checked and most of the twenty people I friend requested that night, just moments prior to being banned, actually accepted my friend request.
So here’s my theory as to why Facebook doesn’t like us to make too many friends too quickly: The greedy bastards want us to pay for their advertising, rather than doing our own networking ourselves. It's pure and simple good, old-fashioned GREED!
After several days my ban was lifted, but with a warning that if caught transgressing again I may have my account blocked indefinitely. Well, I have put a lot of work into my profile and fan page, and if they disable my account I will be destroyed.
Facebook is already successful, it is not fair that they are trying to keep everyone else down. Facebook is successful because of people like you and me, and they need to show us the respect that we deserve.
If anyone has any suggestions as to how to effectively convince Facebook to amend their greedy and improper practices, then please, we all need to hear from you !!!
Facebook's warning, the first time they determine that you are just too darned popular for their own good
This particular SAFEWAY is located in San Francisco’s Financial District (145 Jackson St, San Francisco, CA 94111) and is the closest supermarket for many of the local residents, including one apartment complex consisting of around 1500 homes.
Their customer service is shabby to say the least, with employees mostly having no clue where products are located. I asked one such individual where I might find the pretzels and he offered to go check. Ten minutes later, when he hadn’t returned, I found him serving customers at the checkout. I said, “what about my pretzels?” to which he dozily replied, “oh yeah, dunno.”
Street bums are regularly seen in the aisles, stinking up the place, fingering the food, and sometimes even eating items on the spot before fleeing the scene, leaving a stench of decomposing human flesh in their wake.
But stinky bums are probably the least of our hygiene worries, when we consider the condition of the ‘fresh’ produce. It is on a daily basis that we encounter moldy tomatoes, moldy figs, and many other moldy fruits on the shelves at Safeway (see photos). It is particularly surprising, as much of Safeway’s produce is not organic, which begs the question, how long has this produce been sitting on the shelves in order to reach the moldy stage…? Fed up with this appalling situation, I asked, on two occasions, to speak to the store manager and was told both times that he was on a ‘late lunch.’ The first time was at 5pm and the second time at 7pm!
I think the final straw came when I asked where I might find the tikka masala sauce. The employee looked at me, as if I’d just inquired as to where they keep their bottled water from Mars, before telling me that I could perhaps find this in a really large Safeway, but definitely not here. Perhaps, having lived in the UK and East Coast USA, I expect to see basic Indian sauces in mainstream supermarkets. Or perhaps they were fermenting a batch out back so it would match the fruit. Either way, I could not help losing the will to live when, in all his wide-eyed ugliness, the employee frowned his deformed brow and said, “I’ve never eaten that before, is it good?”
If you want to take action against your local Safeway, your best move is to call the San Francisco Department of Health at 415-252-3800 or 3805. This is the direct number for food provider complaints, and they will instantly dispatch an inspector to the scene.