The truth about Hurricane Irene

What was really happening in the mandatory evacuation zone in New York during the great Hurricane Irene...

And why we should rename it Hurricane Bullshit

They warned that it would be historical, and certainly Hurricane Irene caused damage in the South. But what was happening in New York? Aside from Mayor Bloomberg hijacking all the news channels for days, with desperate pleas to evacuate, the only thing historical about Hurricane Irene in New York (cat 3 - cat 2 - cat 1 - ooops nope tropical storm) was how empty the streets of New York were.

Let's not be fooled, the only reason Mayor Bloomberg overreacted to Hurricane Irene was to make up for his under reaction during the December snowstorm. Did he fool us into thinking that he cares? Not really. Aside from impressively inconveniencing all of Manhattan (we get that Long Island actually did get winds and floods), guess who's going to foot the bill for this needless evacuation? That's right, you the Manhattan taxpayer! Thanks Mayor BS for continuing to think about yourself and only yourself.

For those who think I'm an ungrateful bitch, allow me to provide you with the cost to us (husband, baby and me) of evacuating for nothing !!

1) Evacuation. Cost: Three friendships. persons who turned us down during this time of apocalyptic emergency.

2) Evacuating to bed bug infested house. Cost:  bed bugs hitched a ride home with us. See photo of bed bug bitten calf below.

3) Diagnosing bed bugs in our own home. Cost $350. But the beagle was cute.

4) Cryogenically treating bedbugs in our home. Cost $900 !!

5) New washer/dryer, after we set ours on fire trying to dry our bed bug infested pillows. Cost $1359. Note to self do not wash and dry feather pillows.

6) Four new pillows.
Cost $200.

7) Friends who bitched me out for complaining about being evacuated for no good reason and being ungrateful that I didn't get flooded. Cost: at least ten people.

So there you have it. Had we stayed home and been flooded the cost would have been ZERO, since we have flood insurance.

So please, all I ask is that you be kind to me and forgive my lack of foresight for not getting ‘fake evacuation insurance’. However fear not I am on the case as we speak. Already called five insurance companies. Idiots don't cover for fake evacuations, but I shalln’t rest until I find one who does….

Hurricane Irene, OCD, sociopath